Personal Monday: Old Weight Journal Entry #1

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Why is it so difficult to give up fast food?

Food will be food, what is the difference? Do we trick ourselves into thinking healthier food does not taste good and thus is not worth eating or even trying?

I have done this before. I know there are some foods I have never tried, but have already determined that I would not like them; and I am the one who has been to Europe twice! I have even tried escargots!

If I can have the courage to go to another country on my own, why can’t I have the courage to try a new meal?

Even in visiting foreign places, I had to be willing to try new things.

I remember when I went to Montpellier, France in the summer of 2004. I stayed with a complete stranger who did not even know English. The woman I stayed with was French; she had been brought up in France; she knew a different culture than I did.

Naturally, the food she offered was very different. I had the courage to try escargots, yes snails, but it took me a while.

However, I could not help but have nutella (chocolate peanut butter) on toast and hot chocolate for breakfast every morning. I found myself sneaking away every once in a while to get a little piece of America, not to mention something that tastes good, at McDonalds.

So, why is changing your eating habits as hard as learning a whole new language? Why are we so stuck on fat foods at time?

Because it tastes good!

But is the good taste worth risking your health over?

I know that I am not healthy. I am fat, plain and simple. I know I need to change; but how?

You would think that with all the pressure I would have changed by now. I am not going to be one of those who overdo it and change way too extremely. I want to still be myself.

Television, movies, ads, and models all imply who we “should be.” Of course, everything has to be “politically correct” as well.

Then there are reality shows such as “Biggest Loser.” I am not going to lie; this show is very inspiring to me. It makes me want to lose weight; but I have not done anything with this inspiration. This show does not “teach” me anything. It is just there for entertainment.

Food businesses and fast food restaurants seem to promote themselves in a such a way that is contrary to the “healthy” image.

Even so, even in their commercials there are “skinny” people.

How often do you see a “fat” person on TV who has a complete positive aspect to him?

I feel pressured in other ways.

I have very few friends. I am not “pretty.” I do not have a boyfriend. I do not have any guys to have a crush on, or any guys who have crushes on me. I have never been asked out. I feel crushed when I go to a school event by myself.

Shouldn’t I naturally desire these things? Isn’t that what society says makes you “happy.” If it is pounded on you long enough, don’t you start believing it.

Don’t get me wrong. It is not always like this. Although these things may contribute to my “negative self talk,” there is more to it.

I want to be healthy! I want to look nice and display myself in a modest way, positively representing my God and those close to me (parents, friends, teachers).

How different life might be for me if I had not grown up to be “horizontally challenged.”

Alas, to my regret, I, like many teens, am lazy.

Laziness is one sole word that would truly describe my life when it comes to exercise. I may be a hard worker in school, but I never have the “strength” to make time for working out.

I have a short that perfectly describes this. It says, “This working out thing isn’t working out for me.”

So, how do I lose weight, lower my cholesterol, and become healthier?

Do an extreme makeover: Harmony edition.

Now it remains for me to change, to do my best to care about my body, to live, to represent those around me well, and to make my best effort in, not just grades, but also in working out and having a balanced nutrition.

Here it goes! I think I am ready. Are you?