Personal Monday: An Old Weight Loss Journal

Thursday, November 03, 2005

My mom and I talked about weight loss the other morning. I have decided to write down what I eat. Writing down what you eat can really help. You do not realize how much you eat until you stop and think about it. Writing down I eat reminds me of my commitment and makes me think about what I can do to change my eating habits. Drinking water helps a lot too. It helps me suppress my appetite.

Wednesday, I walked over to my mom's work after school. She works at the church that is on the same campus as my school. It is not that far of a walk. It takes me about 10 minutes to walk over. Today, however, I actually found myself enjoying it. I knew I had to walk faster and faster. Walking can be a good exercise if you do it often enough. The longer I walk, the faster I go, the more of a work out I get. I will have to walk more often from now on. I have two dogs. I should take them on walks more often. It is a simple thing to do and does not take too much effort. The more I do it, the healthier I get. I can't just walk and do nothing else, though. Not if I want results.

I watched Biggest Loser on TV last night. That show really inspires me. I would like to be on it some day. Not for the money, but for the results. It would teach me how to eat right and would push me to the limit. I would have to persevere and not give up. The people on that show make a choice to change their lifestyles, and gain a healthier body in return. I hope I can do that. I ma not be on TV, but I do have a choice to make and I choose now to be healthy and to do what is right. I will have determination, I will persevere, and I will lose weight!

I actually weigh more than some of the people on "Biggest Loser." How embarrassing is that? But I am not embarrassed! I weigh 280 pounds, so what! I have seen girls go around complaining about their weight and saying how they are chubby. Others do not want to say how much the weigh. They want to keep it hush hush. Me, I do not care. I do not see what the big secret is. I am not negative by saying how much I weigh to myself. I may be outright with it and talk openly about it, but it is o big deal. I am not wallowing in self-pity. I am now trying to do something about it.

It can be so hard sometimes to say no to my craving. I have had enough to eat. So what do I do when I want to eat but have already eaten enough? I literally have to think to myself, "I do not need food, I do not need food. I will not crave, I will not crave." Just the other day in my speech class at MJC a girl came in with McDonalds. She said she had to eat because she was "starved." As I saw her get the food out, my mouth began to water. Of course, I could not eat right then, but I surely could have gotten some fast food after class on the way home. I had to ignore this craving. I wanted food, but I did not need it. I may have gotten past it this time, but I still craved that food. That is the key. I need to train myself to not desire those foods. There are other, healthier foods to eat. I do not even need caramel to make an apple taste good. I can still eat fast food every once in a while, but I need to control how much I eat. Instead of a medium French fry, maybe a small. Even at home, when I am relaxed, I need to find something to do when I think I am hungry, but really am not.

Writing things down in a journal really helps. It reminds me of what I am doing and gives me a place to write down all my feelings. It has helped me a lot.